HAPPY SATURDAY!!!!!

HOLA BITCHES!!!

Let's play a game!

It's called "Replace the Word"

In this case the word is "CUPCAKES"

Replace it with whatever

 your dirty mind wants!

WHAT IF...

Edward and Bella were from the 

Midwest?

LOL

I was browsing for something else, and I ran across this gem! 

I don't know what it means!!

Oh Rob, maybe looking like a chubby politician is where I draw my line...

Gah, who am I kidding?
I'd give him a BJ under his mahogany desk anyways!  LOL
GIVE IT TO ME FAT BASTARD! 

HAPPY SATURDAY!!!!!!!!

TWI-TARD Edition.

To all the tards out there, because we all know one, or a few LOL

**Meanwhile, Karen-BTB and Myself just got back from the pool at one of the Las Vegas Casinos, we are a bit drunk and need a nap for the nighttime activities! LOL
Spoiler of BTB-Vegas (coming soon) post: "She allowed me to rub suntan oil all over her sexy body RAWR!"

Happy Birthday Bella Swan!!!!

Happy Birthday Isabella!

Even though you have the personality of a suicidal rock...

We still LOVE you!

Let's celebrate on this special day 

Bella's BEST and WORSE moments!!

I'm my book, this is the best Bella moment...

AND IT WASN'T EVEN IN TWILIGHT!

(I hate you CH!)

TITTY GRAB!!!!!

...x...

And Worse Moment?

Oh, so many to choose...

But THIS is my favorite!

Classic!

LOL!

Happy Hump Day!!!

Today My Bitches,

We celebrate love... & I'm not talking about Robsten!
I'm talking about Deebert...

Yes!
For the older BTBs this will be a moment to remember...
But for the new BTBs this will be an eye opener...



YES my Darlings, I am opening Pandora's Box, and bringing out "Ello, Luv" By THE MASTER... DeeDee777. We all know she pulled the fic... but we have MY MEMORY (Dude there is no way I'll EVER forget that shit) AND THE AMAZING tool called INTERNET!



So, who is DeeDee?

Well, she's an awesome writer... who wrote a fanfic about ROBERT PATTINSON, yes... you heard that right, and herself as the main protagonists of the story.



I'll break it down for you:
(BTW It starts with personal pics of DeeDee with friends and family... )


1.- She's a HARD CORE Rob fan, 
she's at Twi-Con... She sees him, he sees her. Sparks fly, she introduces herself with her Disqus and FF.net alias before her real name, because SHE'S THAT AWESOME!!! He's a goner...


2.- He invites her over to his room in the hotel they cuddle and he KISSES HER HAND (Uh?!) the next morning... she's still high in R-Pattz DREAM Bliss and he gives her a small business card with his name, address, home phone number and e-mail address (RLY?!) and says "Here. Take this... and I want you to promise me you'll use it. Keep in touch with me"


3.- They do keep in touch, they talk every day... One day, she must tell him the truth... her father is dying of brain cancer... BUT that's not all... SHE is sick too! She has... (wait for it) hydrocephalus...


4.- He's drinking his sorrows in England, she's worried... So how she gets him to stay in palce and not drive drunk?... YES, Phone SEX! (yikes!)
"The buttons on the front of your nightshirt,” he murmured, “Undo one for me.”
“Yes,” I whispered. As I popped open the first button, he murmurs, “Another one. Just imagine my hands are on the buttons. Keep going . . . one button at a time.” “until I’m running my tongue up and down where I’m dying to be.”
"Over the phone, I hear him quietly moaning, his moans gradually becoming louder. Ohhhh, God . . .
There’s a long pause, and then he murmurs, “Debbie . . . Oh, love . . . I love you . . . Love you so much.”
And then, surprisingly, there’s complete silence.
As I release my fingers to reach both my hands back up to the phone receiver and say “Rob? Rob? Are you still there?” . . .
. . . My question is answered by the sound of him quietly snoring". <-----WTF!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More after the break (LOTS MORE!)

Can you say "Meow"

So apparently our Loved/Hated Kstew showed some sharp nails on her latest interview 

(OTR Red Carpet w/MTV) 

Remember this?

I know you remember!

And it gave us a chuckle...

Well, now her come back?

RAWR!

Take that Rob!

Dude, is it normal that I'm all turned on by this?

LOL!!

Whatever the case,

Kstew is looking HAWT!

Where is hump pillow!

Just What You EVER WANTED!!!!!

ARE YOU TIRED OF BEING ALONE??

Are you ready to feel loved...

Then this is for you!

Introducing the: HUSBAND PILLOW!!

Shit!

They had me at Dry Hump!

OMG! TWILIGHT'S OWN BLR! LOL!!

Oh.MY.GOOOOOD!!!!!

Twilight now has its OWN BLR (Bad Lip Reading)

Which just happens to be my FREAKING FAVORITE YOUTUBE CHANNEL!!! (Jenna Marbles is right after LOL)

I bow to your awesomeness BLR. 

You did not dissapont. AGAIN.

Enjoy!

Wanna keep laughing?

Go to their channel and browse all the different videos they have.

You'll thank me, my fav of all times: Hot Jumping Beans LOL

Level of Awesomeness: 90%

My Dear Bitches,

I'm kinda growing sick and tired of parodies, but this one is kinda awesome...

She had me at "Banana Peel"

Plus, I can't be mean to a girl with that face, she may be special (short bus special)

BUT funny none the less!!

Enjoy!

Breaking News! Kristen Stewart Spotted!

Hello Bitches!

Errrr, Kristen was not really spotted, but this is funny as fuck!

I wanna start by saying I DO NOT condone Kristen behavior, and my heart still breaks for Rob. BUT, if you have never cheated raise your hand...

I'm done hating Kstew. I followed my own advise "build a bridge, and get over it". I got over it.

Whether they get back together or not, 

Kstew... I still love you.

And Rob, if you need rebound sex, BTBs are OPEN for business *wiggles eyebrows*

Will Ferrell & Zach Galifianakis Read '50 Shades of Grey'

I doesn't get any sexier than this! LOL

Feel it baby Christian!

LMFAO!!!!

Just when I thought I couldn't love Will Ferrell any more!!!

Le Twilight Fans: TWI-TARDS Edition

With Breaking Dawn 2 approaching fast, let's take a moment to remember the fans who stood and waited for days for BD1 premier... 

There is so much wrong with these photos, I have no idea where to start...

Oh, I think she meant McRib... not Rob 

Good News and Bad News....

OK. Bad news first,
FB and I are not welcome to our neighborhood bookstore anymore...
Why you may ask?

Well, apparently we created a slipping hazard... WHATEVER! 


And the good news! 

I have found THE.MR.GREY!

Sheldon-Fucking-Cooper!! 

*Snorts*

I like him, but dude! When I saw this, my boner went bye-bye!! LOL!!! 

Oh Chris!

Tell us Chris... 

What's really on your mind?

LOL!!!!

Is that Bella and Thor figurines fucking?

Awwwww, I always wondered what "Boys and their toys" meant... now we know LOL!

I can't blame him, I do the same things with my dolls, they all have girl orgies tho, no Thor involved...

Plus, Breaking Dawn Bella is HOT! 

(except when carrying demon child *shudders*)

Now I wonder, if Edward doll is anatomically correct... or crotchless *taps chin*

Hmmm

I hope it looks like this one:

OH, HELL NO!!!

WHAT.THE.FUCK.

I am in shock,

WHO in their right mind would say this:

"Joe Jonas is the perfect Christian Grey"

Stab me in the vagina with a pitchfork and end my pain!

THIS: is not hot.

THIS: Is HOT!!!

So many things I have seen while making this post... Things that can never be unseen...

But I must share... LOL!!


See the nastiness HERE

Sorry Rob, I have no words...

Visit the delusional site HERE

EXCLUSIVE!!!! First Peek at Bella's Superpower!

NEVER SEEN BEFORE

Here is the first peek at Bella using her 

Shield Bubble Superpower...

Well, this is how I picture it in my head anyways... LOL!!!

Just so you don't get disappointed,

PinkLady has send us the newest craptastic and more shameful than ever NuttyMadam Reaction to BD2 trailer video.

Enjoy!

Put Your Glasses On Bitches!!

And Analyze this FUCKING PICTURE!!! 

So many things going on! 

I wanna fucking CRY! LOL

FAN WIN!!!!

I want to know who's the creator of this???

You deserve a fucking medal!

This is what I could do tonight, as I'm hating the hubby right now LOL

*finds fav pic of Rob* 

*click, print*

*wiggles eyebrows*

I'm ready bitches!!!!

FUCKING PERFECT!!!!

Oh Jacob!

I think I speak for many of us when I say how sorry I feel for Taylor!
Poor Tay-Tay! I can feel the awkwardness already... having to do all the promo tours with his baby girlfriend! LOL

I feel like at any moment Chris Hansen is going to show up! and then he will end up in "To Catch a Predator" at NBC LOL!!!!


All I see when I look at this pics...

is this:

Oh Rob! LOL!!!!!!!!

I Present to you, Robs 5 Best-Worst Faces!

#5

#4

#3

#2

And the best of all

I bring you

The #1

LOL!!!!!!!!!!

And you know what?

I'd still fuck the shit outta him! 

LOL!!!!