Happy Hump Day!!!

Today My Bitches,

We celebrate love... & I'm not talking about Robsten!
I'm talking about Deebert...

Yes!
For the older BTBs this will be a moment to remember...
But for the new BTBs this will be an eye opener...



YES my Darlings, I am opening Pandora's Box, and bringing out "Ello, Luv" By THE MASTER... DeeDee777. We all know she pulled the fic... but we have MY MEMORY (Dude there is no way I'll EVER forget that shit) AND THE AMAZING tool called INTERNET!



So, who is DeeDee?

Well, she's an awesome writer... who wrote a fanfic about ROBERT PATTINSON, yes... you heard that right, and herself as the main protagonists of the story.



I'll break it down for you:
(BTW It starts with personal pics of DeeDee with friends and family... )


1.- She's a HARD CORE Rob fan, 
she's at Twi-Con... She sees him, he sees her. Sparks fly, she introduces herself with her Disqus and FF.net alias before her real name, because SHE'S THAT AWESOME!!! He's a goner...


2.- He invites her over to his room in the hotel they cuddle and he KISSES HER HAND (Uh?!) the next morning... she's still high in R-Pattz DREAM Bliss and he gives her a small business card with his name, address, home phone number and e-mail address (RLY?!) and says "Here. Take this... and I want you to promise me you'll use it. Keep in touch with me"


3.- They do keep in touch, they talk every day... One day, she must tell him the truth... her father is dying of brain cancer... BUT that's not all... SHE is sick too! She has... (wait for it) hydrocephalus...


4.- He's drinking his sorrows in England, she's worried... So how she gets him to stay in palce and not drive drunk?... YES, Phone SEX! (yikes!)
"The buttons on the front of your nightshirt,” he murmured, “Undo one for me.”
“Yes,” I whispered. As I popped open the first button, he murmurs, “Another one. Just imagine my hands are on the buttons. Keep going . . . one button at a time.” “until I’m running my tongue up and down where I’m dying to be.”
"Over the phone, I hear him quietly moaning, his moans gradually becoming louder. Ohhhh, God . . .
There’s a long pause, and then he murmurs, “Debbie . . . Oh, love . . . I love you . . . Love you so much.”
And then, surprisingly, there’s complete silence.
As I release my fingers to reach both my hands back up to the phone receiver and say “Rob? Rob? Are you still there?” . . .
. . . My question is answered by the sound of him quietly snoring". <-----WTF!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More after the break (LOTS MORE!)


5.- Alright ladies... the fun ends there. If you don't like angst, you must stop. Cuz DeeDee is taking it to the next level!
“Rob, I have something I need to tell you . . . I have to go into the hospital. I’m going to have brain surgery again. I just found out today. I just didn’t want to say anything to you until I knew for sure.”
“You’re going to have what?!” he asks me incredulously. ”
 He pauses for a moment and then he says, “I’m coming out there to see you, to be with you for the surgery. I just have a really bad feeling about this. I need to be there with you.”
“But. . .” I start to say, as I’m suddenly cut off with
“No ‘buts’ . . . no arguments . . . I’m coming out there. I need to be there. Period. That’s it. End of discussion.”
-----IT GETS WORSE... NOOOOOO DeeDee!!!
“Honey, the doctors found a brain tumor. It’s the same kind your dad had . . .”
Instantly I know . . . Glioblastoma multiforme, a stage IV astrocytoma, one of the most deadly kinds of terminal cancer . . . so I most likely have anywhere from six to 12 months to live, as much as 18 if I’m really lucky . . . If you can call that “luck.”

6.- Rob can't live without DeeDee... But she's a martyr, she cares about his career (plus she-like us- need the Twi-porn!) So she tries to make him leave! READ THIS!
“You shouldn’t want to spend so much time with me. You have your career to go back to, and I know you can’t just put that on hold indefinitely. You need to go and find someone young and beautiful . . . and healthy . . . to spend your time with . . . someone who is going to live a long, happy life with you . . .” . . . any and every reason I can think of that he should not want to stay with me and waste his life on a woman who has no chance of having a long life with him. Then I continue, “Besides, you know I told you that I already couldn’t conceive children after having that NovaSure procedure done in 2009, even before we first met. I’d only had that procedure done back then because I’d been having horrendous menstrual cycles and, at the time, I was already 40 years old, still single, with no prospects for getting married. I really was past the point of even wanting to have children myself at that point, so I decided to have it done. Soon I’ll be going through just one form of chemo, and I’m sure I’ll have some kind of radiation or more chemo after this. If you ever wanted to have children someday, I’d never be able to give them to you. You know that.”
------DAMN you menstrual cycles! You have ruined Rob chances to be a daddy *wails*



7.- Well, good thing he does not listen Deebert lives, and the go on fancy dates... TO EAT CHINESE FOOD! yum, I'm hungry now!
“He laughs and replies softly “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m kidnapping you to take you to a nice restaurant, to ply you with some of your favorite Chinese food now so I can try to have my way with you later.”
------Never mind, not hungry anymore!


8.- Ready or not, here is is! The good stuff (NC-17)
"I pull my scrunchie out of my hair, the he kisses me then lower still, in between my breasts and down toward my stomach, then moving lower still toward the place where, when he touches me, his fingers gently probing into my hot, moist depths, he finds out to his surprise that he’s my “first.”When he discovers this, he stops, jerks back as if stung, looks at me, eyes wide in surprise, and stammers “But . . . you . . . on the phone . . . a couple weeks ago . . . I thought . . . . I mean, I guess I just assumed . . . that you would’ve at least had some experience, especially by now. And, because you were getting so upset just now, I just thought maybe you’d had a bad experience with a previous boyfriend at some point . . . maybe you were with someone who treated you badly . . . made you feel like you were ugly . . .” “Reaching his hand up to caress my cheek, guiding me to look at him again, he looks deeply into my eyes and says, “Tell me . . . what happened?” After I tell Robert all about David . . . about how we met at work while I worked as a canvasser for Kirby vacuums and he was a salesman on my crew “He looks at me with a tenderness that just makes me shiver and then, his hands softly caressing my arms, he says softly “I want you to know that you’re giving me a very precious gift tonight. I’m honored that I’m your first, but . . . I just still can’t understand why some other guy hasn’t come along to love you the way you need to be loved . . . the way you deserve to be loved. I just can’t believe that I’m . . . that I’m your first real love.”Debbie, I’m going to be gentle, I promise. But this is your first time, so . . . I know that this might hurt you a little. I . . . I just don’t want to hurt you, love . . .”“I feel a feather soft kiss up high against my cheek, near my ear, then I hear him whisper “love you so much” and he softly kisses me right at my jaw line, and then he whispers, “don’t want to hurt you,” as he kisses me one final time, on my neck. Then he leans his hips back, and, as I open my eyes to look up at him once again, with one quick thrust and just a brief flash of pain he’s completely inside me, filling me so perfectly it’s as if we were made for each other. ”
-------SHE's Over 40 and a virgin and no lube?! not nice Rob!
“He just gives me that adorable “Edward Cullen” smile, looking at me so much like the way Edward looked at Bella in the scene in Edward’s bedroom in “Twilight” when Edward tells Bella “You really shouldn’t have said that” . . . which he knows just happens to be one of my favorite scenes from that movie.”
------SHE CAN'T GET ENOUGH!
“I look into his eyes, smiling and saying playfully “Can ‘Little Spunky’ come out to play?” He looks at me, passion burning in his eyes, kisses me quick and hard on the mouth, then stands up, quickly takes off his underwear and climbs into the tub with me, as I reach my arms up to wrap them around him and pull him toward me. ”
“all I can do is gasp “Stars . . . I see stars.”

------WTF LeMonsterCock gave her a concussion?


9.- Rob-a-Claus X-mas Special!
“He’s lying on the floor in front of my Christmas tree, an afghan spread out underneath him, lying on his side, his head propped up casually on his arm, smiling at me . . . wearing nothing but a Santa hat on his head, a wide red gift ribbon wrapped all around him, and a large, strategically placed red bow.” “This first gift I open turns out to be multiple gifts in one . . . because he’s given me DVDs of “The Bad Mother’s Handbook,” “How To Be,” “Little Ashes,” “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,” “Dark Kingdom: The Dragon King,” “Vanity Fair,” “The Haunted Airman” and “The Summer House,” and, of course, “Remember Me” and “Eclipse” . . .all of his movies that I did not yet have on DVD.”
------that's not all, he also gets her CHOCOLATE BODY PAINT... Which they use, repeatedly! (pukes)



10.- Well bad news ladies DeeDee's Cancer is back, AGAIN!
-----Rob listened to his publicist and HID their LOVE! *wails* Now he's feeling guilty and miserable!
Their families DON'T know they are together!!!!
------BUT WAIT
“Suddenly moving to sit next to me again, holding my hands in his and looking into my eyes, tears well up in his eyes again as he continues, “I decided, right then and there, in that moment, that both our families need to know the truth, and they need to know it now. We might not have another chance.”
Then he just wraps his arms around me and holds me close and I tell him, “We’ll tell my family tomorrow. Then we can talk to your family. It’ll be alright . . . it just has to be.”
------ Thank God DeeDee's mom is supportive!
“Thank you. Thank you for loving my daughter and for having the courage to stand by her side for all these months. I’m just sorry you both thought that I wouldn’t approve . . . It’s clear to me how much you care for Debbie, and I know you’ve clearly stuck by her side for all these months, even with everything she’s been through, so how could I not approve?”
------ What about HIS family?!?
“We have a chance to talk to his father, his mother, and his two sisters, Lizzie and Victoria . . . and also Robert’s childhood best friend, Tom Sturridge, who’s like a brother to Rob, and his close friends Sam Bradley, Marcus Foster and Bobby Long . . . and they all treat me like a member of their family right away. After continuing our conversation for a while, telling Rob’s family all about my love of reading, my bachelor’s degree in English, my love of movies and music and theater, and my experiences performing in musical theater productions in high school”
-------Phew!

11.- Valentines
-----He buys her a necklace, she buys claddagh rings for the 2 of them...

” Traditionally, you wear the ring on your right hand when you’re single; if the point of the heart is facing outward, you’re single and available, if it’s facing inward you’re single but seeing someone. When you wear the ring on your left hand, facing out means you’re either engaged or just about to reach the point of getting married, facing in means you’re married.” Rob says, “Wow . . . that’s really sweet. What a wonderful gift. Let me try mine on.”“As we put our rings on, I look over at his hand and note that, as I’ve put my ring on my right hand, facing inward, Rob put his on his left hand, facing outward. “Rob . . .” I whisper, “Your ring’s on the wrong hand.”
Looking at me and smiling, he kisses me and he says, “No it’s not. I like it right where it is, and I’m not moving it.” Then he reaches over toward my hand, sliding my ring off my finger to put it on my left hand and turning my ring around in the same direction as his, saying, “There . . . that’s better,” giving me another soft, tender kiss on the lips.”
-----wait, what ARE THEY ENGAGED?!?!? Cheap date Rob! LOL


12.- FUTURE TIME!!!! It's BD2 Premier!
--------DeeDee is so sick, Rob does not want to leave her side!!!!!
 “When he doesn’t show up at the “Breaking Dawn-Part II” premiere the next day, it causes all kinds of speculation in the media as to why he’s suddenly so reclusive and unwilling to promote this film. “You see . . . I knew this would happen,” I say as I see a report on “Entertainment Tonight” the day after the premiere, where they’re talking about “Robert Pattinson’s conspicuous absence from the premiere . . . Rob seems to have become more reclusive lately . . . he shows no interest in promoting this film . . .”
“I don’t care about all that,” he insists. “Being here with you is more important to me than a film premiere.””
-------she looses a chunk of hair in front of him (poor DeeDee!)
“I just went through the same experience that my father did. I think that’s a big part of the reason why I reacted the way that I did to seeing my hair falling out. It’s not that I’m upset about losing my hair. I’m not vain like that. You know I’m not. I’ve been through enough surgeries before now and lost my hair enough times, and I know that I could just as easily wear one of my Harley do-rags on my head if I really want to cover up my head. It’s just . . . It’s like déjà vu all over again, only this time I’m the one going through all of this, not Dad.” ”
“And do you know what? I think do-rags are kinda sexy.”



13.- It's time to tie the knot!!!!!
-----Holy shit, everyone is there his family, hers and of course THE WHOLE TWILIGHT CAST! (I'm so jealous)
“Then Rob officially introduces me to Kristen, Peter, Jackson, Kellan, Ashley, Taylor, and the rest of the Twilight cast . . . some of whom I’ve never had a chance to talk to yet, and a couple of whom I’ve only been able to talk to once over the phone when he called each of them to tell them about our wedding. Kristen smiles at both of us then gives me a big hug, saying “I’m just so thrilled for both of you. And you’ve made Rob so happy. Hey, can we steal your hubby away for just a minute . . . just wanted to talk to him . . .”
“Sure,” I reply, and then I tease her “But don’t take him away for too long. I’ll be watching you . . . just be sure y’all bring him back over here soon.”
Kristen just smiles at me and laughs, saying “We will . . . I promise,” then they turn around and Rob wraps an arm around her shoulder as she wraps her arm around his waist and they all walk off together toward the other side of the room and I just watch them as they all sit together, talking happily and laughing together, everyone joining in, too, just like one big “Twilight family reunion.”
-----Oh No! I's Kristen with a married man! No DeeDee Nooooooooo!!!
-----Phew, she doesn't take him away... There is no Robsten in this story!


14.- Rob goes all Christian Grey on DeeDee
“Close your eyes, love,” he murmurs against my ear. As I close my eyes, I feel him gently pulling my arms above my head, then fastening them together with a . . . a . . .
Oh, my God . . . is that a rope?!”
-----Seriously, that's all you want to hear



15.- The Newlyweds are back on LA and he's holding a press conference to announce their love! That's so Rob!
”Rob decides to do a TV interview, the morning of the premiere of the movie. As I sit at home, watching the interview, he says, “I want to make an announcement to the media, regarding the rumors published about me recently,” and then he says, “Yes, I am in love. I am in love with someone who is not in the entertainment industry, and that’s why I wanted to keep our relationship private in the beginning. We are in love . . .” then he pauses for a moment, holding up his left hand to show off his gold and platinum wedding band, and he adds, “and we were recently married.”
“But there is another reason why I’ve kept our relationship a secret up until this point. We also know now that my wife has cancer . . . a very serious . . . terminal . . . form of brain cancer . . . and we just don’t know how much time we have left together. Please, if any of you in the media have any compassion whatsoever, please just allow us our privacy at this time when we so desperately need it. And, when we are in public together, please respect my wife’s wishes to just be with me without intruding on our private life together from this point forward. Our time together is precious to both of us, and our private life is going to remain just that . . . private, not public. Thank you.”
-------Nooooooooooo DeeDeee!!!!!!!!!


16.- So DeeDee is dying (sad face here) 
She's now in hospice, she can no longer walk or talk...
It's their last day together, even the cats know its the end... Rob is devastated!and she's gone... she’s gone to Melissa Ethridge playing in the background of course


17.- THE END..... Oh Wait
ROB POV: 
“his first thought is . . . This is the third morning I’m waking up without my love next to me . . . It’s been three days . . . Looking over at the clock and noting that it is now 8 AM, he looks at the photo just behind the clock on the nightstand, a wedding portrait, touching the picture lightly, and he thinks Three days, 12 hours and 15 minutes . . . Rolling over toward the other side of the bed, caressing the pillow, he thinks, That’s how long I’ve been without you, love.”
"At the services he says “I brought you something. Something you told me you wanted.” Then he pulls out a small leather-bound Bible, the one Father Frank blessed for her back in September of 2000, and her autographed Stryper Bible.”
------WAIT WHAT?!


18.- Six months later
 Rob wins an Oscar... He mentions HER on the acceptance speech! Oh DeeDee! I wish you can hear this from heaven!!!!



19.- 50-years LATER (Seriously!)
“As Robert is lying in that bed, he begins to think back on his life. In the past 50 years I’ve had everything I used to think I could have wanted in life. Although I love my wife and wouldn’t trade our life together or our family for anything, in the deepest part of my heart I’ve never really been able to let go of my angel.
I wouldn’t want to tell Kristen that . . . Rob thinks. I wouldn’t want her to feel like she was my “second choice.” Kristen knew how much I loved Debbie, anyway. . . . She had told me as much at my first wedding rehearsal. I remember her laughing and telling me “Rob, you’re so in love you’re ‘glowing’ just as much as the bride.” And she heard every word that Debbie and I had said to each other, both at the wedding and in our toasts to each other at the reception. Maybe Kris knows that, even now, there’s one part of my heart that could never have belonged to her . . . the part that my angel has always held. When I lost my angel, Kristen was right there for me, supporting me” “Kris was familiar and safe, and we’d been friends for a long time, dated for a while . . . and that lasting friendship that we’d always had eventually turned to back into love, this time for both of us because Kristen had no more “emotional baggage” from previous relationships that she still needed to deal with; she was finally ready to be in a relationship with me, where she really wasn’t before. I did love Kristen . . . not in the same way I loved Debbie, of course, but Kris and I built a good life together.”
-------ROBSTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!


20.- ROB is dying (Ok, I don't like this anymore WTF)
Robert is dying from emphysema, in his final moments, I appear like an angel, finally younger than him...
“As he looks back at her in surprise, she continues, From that day on, I’ve always watched over you . . . I was the one who brought you and Kristen back together, after all. I couldn’t stand to see you remain alone, and I wanted you to be happy again.
Smiling at her, he thinks I knew it . . . I just knew you had to have something to do with it . . . my “guardian angel”. . .
------THEY FLY (to HEAVEN)
“As they’re suddenly standing outside the home she’s prepared for the two of them . . . an exact replica of their house in California . . . she caresses his cheek, smiles at him and she thinks ‘Ello, love . . . and welcome Home. Then she brings his lips to hers for the kiss they’ve both waited years for, both of them feeling their hearts are finally whole again as they kiss.”
------AND she’s gathered the souls of their old pets too.
” Then, with a wicked little grin of her own, she looks at him and thinks By any chance, does this ‘something’ involve chocolate body paint?
With a laugh, he smiles at her, sweeps her up in his arms and carries her off to their bedroom . . . and their “forever” begins . . . ”
-----BAM - THE END!



Disclamer: ”I’d initially written this story as “Hello, My Love” . . . a Hayden Christensen fanfiction that I’d initially written for DesiringHayden.net about four years ago .”

Love, DeeDEE777

I NEED A DRINK, SRLY...