With my luck this is the baby I would end up having.
*goes to call-in refill on birth control prescription*
This post is for everyone to share and vent all your crazy baby stories about your kids or about you or about other kids you know.
I'll share my disturbing stories if you share yours!
*dying of laughter* I can't see the keys! woo we better watch it she's means it!
ReplyDeleteoh FB you are so HILARIOUS!
ReplyDeleteSo you have the tears of fears to, eh? lol
ReplyDeleteNo one has any fucked up kid stories?? YOU LIARS! YOU ALL LIE! FINE! I'll tell one of mine.
ReplyDeleteI was about 15 years old and I was babysitting a neighbors little boy for the evening. I can't remember his name now but I remember the EVENT like it was yesterday. He was about 4 or 5 years old I guess. In between watching tv and snacking on some Teddy Graham snack crackers I picked him up and lifted him up over my head to do the silly noise and shack.....it happened. He dropped a drool soaked teddy graham in my mouth!
I almost threw him across the room! It landed in my mouth and was soft and mushy. I started gagging and doing the so sexy dry-heave. He started crying because I scared him...I wonder why??!!
I never babysit again.
If you never want to sleep, have a fucking baby. I'm fixed after my second child thank fuck. My daughter at 2months of age, I feel like I'll never sleep again. My Son started sleeping thru the night at 3months, well, he was a easy child. It doesn't feel like this one will. I think she will end up being lucifer. Quick FB, get ur god damn birth control and don't fucking miss i it.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!! YOU ARE MY BIRTH CONTROL!!! My bf is never getting laid again. He wants a kid but we all know what that means....he gets the fun job.
ReplyDeleteDH would have a housefull...but then who is it that changes all the diapers, and cooks and cleans up after all the kids? NOT DH!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteExactly! I think I only want puppies as my kids. lol
ReplyDeleteSounds like my DH! He's had Alie asking for a baby sister! No thank you!
ReplyDeleteLMFAO!!!
ReplyDeleteI have been peed on, pooped on and puked on but I still love my kids but ask me to have another and I'll smack you!
ReplyDeleteI was lucky and my kids were all amazing babies, sleeping 12 hours at 6 weeks old ect but it must be they were making up for my horrible pregnancies! DH keeps saying Alie needs a sister but considering with Ryley I threw up up to 10 times a days for 24 weeks and then with Alie it was almost my whole pregnancy I won't be having another.
Most of my horror stories are the toddler and up years. Seriously terrible 2s are the devil!
Austin kept us in ER, he is my accident prone one. He has ripped that thing that connects your top lip to your gums, he has had stitches between his eyes, he has scars under both eyes, he has had to have teeth pulled because of an accident involving a bath tub, seriously he has a frequent flyer card to the ER! lol.
Ryley just had constant ear aches but is a trouble maker and always getting into something!
Alie is a diva! The worst she ever did was bite me when I was nursing her though. Although girl knows some really bad words thanks to Daddy! I told him she can't help him work on stuff! lol.
My worst horror story is from babysitting when I was 13 and I was trying to make money to buy half of the drum set I wanted. So I agreed to babysit these 4 kids for the summer from 2 different families, the one family just had 1 son and he was awesome! But the other family had 3 kids and I kid you not they had this 9 year old who was the fucking devil! He was forever hitting on my saying sexual things at 9! Then one day he heard me telling him mom I wouldn't be able to watch them so on my last day of baby sitting he had a freak out! Was throwing around tables and got a knife from the kitchen and threatened his brother if I wouldn't watch them ect. I ended up having to phone the police. I kept babysitting the other kid but never watched the other 3 again. It was fucking traumatic and I was so mad at the end of the summer when I was $200 short on the drum set but my parents still helped me buy it!
I'm trying to convince hubby to get fixed! I've went through enough for him! lol.
ReplyDeleteOMFG! You stories made me pee, puke and poop on myself! HORROR STORIES! If I get pregnant who wants it?? Any takers?? *scans room*
ReplyDeleteYES YOU HAVE! Tell him you can't have anymore kids because if your BTB FB gets pregs then you have to take it. ☺
ReplyDeletehahahaha okay deal! I love me sum babies! But you get it back during terrible 2s and potty training!
ReplyDeletehahahaha maybe your baby would be an angel..... it would probably have to be like your BF for that to happen eh? ;) I LOVE YOU FB! :)
ReplyDeleteI'll be gone on a sabbatical during that time. SORRY!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I'll track you down! lol.
ReplyDeleteI ♥ ya more! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI know you would....damnit!
ReplyDeleteThat's so fucking gross!
ReplyDeletePoor FB. I bet you never want to see a damn Teddy Graham again!
NEVER, EVER AGAIN.
ReplyDeleteyeah I do! LOL!
ReplyDeleteCHRIST ON A MOTORBIKE WITH A PINK SKIRT ON!! you poor thing having to babysit those kids from hell! and WOA! when your son rushed to the ER! damn!!
ReplyDeleteLOL!!!
ReplyDeletehe should get fixed lol!
ReplyDeleteMy worst babysitting experience (No, I don't have kids, yet/ever/dunno) was watching 3 of my cousins. 3 boys and a girl (I'm pretty sure my mother tricked me into this job), the middle son snuck up behind me, when i was feeding the baby, and proceeded to dump a bottle of Elmers Glue onto my head!
ReplyDeleteHe's probably part of the reason I haven't had kids yet/ever/dunno.
So you could say that you were in a STICKY situation, eh?
ReplyDeleteWHAT!? Bad joke?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJ_R-G_i4Xk
HAHAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteNot the sticky situation I want to be in!
*eh-hem, um, hello? Rob? DH? Rathboner? wanna help a lady out?
I do believe you have peaked the Rathboner's interest!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jackson!
ReplyDeleteI prefer it on my chest, but You can spray it anywhere!
Uh oh! You got the thumbs up!
ReplyDeletewell my husband volunteered before we knew my daughter was breach and had to have a scheduled ( which she decided to cum before that day)c-section. Decided I'm going to be opened up anyway so might as well kill 2 birds with 1 stone and get my tubes tied. I'm kinda glad I got it done cause My DH would've cryed like a bitch after getting his procedure done.
ReplyDeleteYah I can see if your already going to be having a csection.
ReplyDeleteSo I thought I would post this here since it's kid related.
ReplyDeleteMy son is heartbroken, really hard to see him like this. He does have a mild concussion and has been told no hockey for 3-6 months. He was invited for try outs for a special top team in Alberta but now won't be able to do them. He's still able to practice with his team but absolutely no contact. His little heart was broken when he heard this. I am glad that his doctor takes this seriously though because head injuries are scary. Hard to believe the kid kept playing and even scored 1 more goal after. He had a great playing weekend though so he went out with a bang!
Oh no! That's horrible!! Poor lil' man! Time to get him a new game for his PS3!!
ReplyDeletePoor guy :( It's rough when your kids put in so much time and effort to do what they love and then something like that happens to just screw it up. He sounds like a tough young man...there's always next season right? Tell him he'll be even bigger and stronger next season and to keep his chin up. Sounds like you're raising quite the young man. I know you must be proud of him.
ReplyDeleteI am really proud of him. Kid has so many MVP awards from hockey and trophies it's not even funny. It might sound weird to some but it's great when people come up to you just to tell you your son is an amazing hockey player. Especially since I taught him to skate! :)
ReplyDeleteSee I'm so proud I'm posting his pic on here! ;)
Hey FB want a snack?
ReplyDelete*hands FB a teddy graham*
Oh no you di'int!
ReplyDeleteHe got one for his kinect for his 2 hat tricks but now I'll have to go get NHL12 for the PS3.
ReplyDelete:) You don't like my picture?
ReplyDeleteYou are cruel! lol
ReplyDeleteThis teddy graham thread is fucking hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI have two boys, 8 and 10.... and I don't have any HORROR stories. All kids (some more than others), have their moments, but they are so worth it. I'm not trying to sound sappy, trust me I'm not... I've been soiled, bitten, hit, hair pulled (all when they were very young and didn't know what they were doing).... and at the time, I was like "No one told me that babies would cause such physical pain!" Then they grow up and cause you mental pain (out of worry), instead of physical! JK
I don't even really consider myself very maternal. I was always awkward with other people's babies, and sometimes even with mine.... but somehow you just know that your doing the right thing for your little ones, because you love them, and that is all that matters... it starts to come naturally.... EXCEPT for breast feeding... for me that was sooooo not easy, I really struggled with it, and was able to do it with both, but I can not BELIEVE how much effort it took to make it work... this is something that should just come naturally... I mean, NO! IT DOES NOT... and it SHOULD! WHY?????..... Sorry, off on a tangent.
FB, It seems like your either opposed to, or on the fence about kids. The irony is, It seems like it's always the pessimistic parents that end up being the most awe struck and enamored with parenthood. So, if you have even the slightest inkling that a child might be in your future,... I would go for it. I have a feeling you will be so surprised by the joy it will bring you.
Best wishes for you! <3
Awww! OMG! I ♥ you big time! *smooch*
ReplyDeleteI know I talk a mean game about not wanting kids and I bet as soon as I felt the first kick and saw the baby eye to eye I would be total mush. Am I turning into Bella? LOL
Thanks for your kind words and a glimpse of your world. LOVE YA, BTB!!!!
♥♥♥♥♥
The flutters and kicks when your pregnant, other-worldly... the most amazing feeling.
ReplyDeleteEvery once in a while I will get a gas bubble that feels a little like a nudge, and tears fill my eyes, remembering the awesome feeling.
<3 you too! *smooch*
BTW, there's nothing wrong with turning into Bella!
ReplyDeleteStephanie, yes. Bella, no.
Who the fuck in the world would not walk in Bella's shoes?
Oh, and how do you add proper hearts and other symbols in Disqus?
I'd be Bella in a second!
ReplyDeleteAll you need is the list of alt codes to do hearts and stuff. ☺
http://www.keyboard-symbols.net/post/biggest-keyboard-symbols-list.html
☺♥ ♪ ♫ ☼
ReplyDeleteCOOL! Thank you!
There you go! Your welcome!☺
ReplyDelete